Funny quotes quotations jobs

I'm looking for a creative and experienced screenwriter to help me with my draft a satirical TV show script. Key Requirements: - The script should focus on satirical comedy - The primary setting for the screenplay is modern day - The target audience for this ...target audience for this project is 30-40 young parents Ideal Skills and Experience: - Prior experience in writing satirical comedy is a plus - Experience in writing for TV, online or audio content - Ability to tailor comedy for a specific target audience - Understanding of modern day culture and trends - Excellent creative writing skills Your deliverable would be a well-crafted, engaging and funny script that resonates with the target audience. If you have a knack for satire and a passion for comedy, I'd lo...

...current calculator. This will include updating the color scheme, enhancing typography, and improving the layout for a more user-friendly experience. - You will also be required to add new features to the calculator. This will involve incorporating additional charging features, specifically variable pricing based on quantity. The goal is to allow for more flexibility and real-time adjustments to the quotes generated. - Moreover, the existing functionality of the calculator needs to be improved. I'm looking for a seamless, efficient, and accurate calculator that can be easily integrated into the current system. The calculator needs to be capable of storing and amending data, ensuring a hassle-free and effective user experience. Ideal candidate for this project should have: ...

I'm seeking a skilled website developer proficient in WordPress. The primary objective of my project is to build a website that effectively generates leads for my handyman services. Key Features: - Contact Form: I need a straightforward, easily accessible contact form for potential clients to reach out to me. - Quote Request Form: I want to incorporate a form where users can request quotes for any services they may need. - Service Booking System: An efficient and user-friendly service booking system is essential. - Landing Pages: I'd like to have dedicated landing pages for specific services to help with SEO and lead generation. Ideal Skills and Experience: - Proficient in WordPress: The website should be built on WordPress for easy management and maintenance. - UX/UI D...

So for the competition, please photoshop one of the photos of Hannah Palmer which you can find here (you can choose any) and add a cat in the picture. The one who is selected will be asked to make a series of photos to include the same cat. Most important is that it looks realistic, also a bonus if it looks funny. Note that the offered budget is just for the 1 winning picture. You will be paid 50€ for 10 adjusted pictures.

I'm looking for designer to create a cheeky, funny and cool Zebra mascot in a cartoon style. This mascot will be used for personal purposes, decorating a Land Rover (with a zebra-design) for a fun rally and to print stickers as giveaways. The mascot is also used on the team website. Key Requirements: - Create a Zebra mascot (a roughly square head-and-shoulders portrait). The design should be cartoonish and exude a sense of humor and coolness. - The mascot could be designed with a baseball cap. - The background should be white and the cartoon should be outlined with a black line. - To print large and small sized stickers (maximum size about 12 x 12 inch or 30 x 30 cm). To print the stickers I need a suitable image file : in addition to a jpg (at least 300 dpi) also a PSD. ...

I'm looking for a skilled editor to help me add inspirational quotes as text overlays to my Instagram posts. Key Responsibilities: - Adding text overlays: Your primary responsibility will be to add text overlays to my photographs. These will mainly consist of motivational quotes. - Customization: You should be able to match the style of the text overlays to the content of the image. This includes the selection of appropriate fonts and colors. Ideal Skills and Experience: - Strong Editing Skills: You should have prior experience in editing and post-production work. - Instagram Expertise: A good understanding of how Instagram works and what engages the audience would be a plus. - Creative: You should be able to come up with engaging and relevant text overlays for the i...

...previous experience in creating minimalist corporate websites and integrating a product showcase with some animation. - Knowledge in visual design and UX will be highly valued in order to create an engaging and user-friendly interface. Attachments: - Attached is one page that we'd like you to design. If you are the winning designer we will then award you the entire project (subject to further cost quotations being agreed). - Also attached is a Design Brief...

Need to add a cat in several pictures of a person. Need someone who is not only skilled in making it same flawless but also someone creative who can make it funny.

I'm looking for an innovative and creative content creator to help generate videos for my YouTube channel. The content will primarily focus on funny animal-related themes for children, teens and adults - Content type: The creator should be capable of making vlogs, tutorials, and comedy sketches focusing on humorous scenarios or facts around animals. - Main Channel Theme: The theme of the channel is Funny Animals. Any content developed should align with this central theme and be suitable for children. - Target Audience: The content should be engaging, fun, edutaining (educational + entertaining), and suitable for children. Ideal skills and experience: - Experience in content creation, specifically for YouTube. - Demonstrable knowledge in creating kid-friendly conten...

I'm facing issues with the websockets implementation in Kite Zerodha, where the connection frequently drops. It shows closing handshake error. And sometimes it does not give me quotes and sometimes it does. Please refer to my python file. This problem is specific to zerodha api websockets.

I'm in need of a creative and experienced freelance designer who can bring my vision to life. My brand is inspired by Marvel, p...specifics: - **Design Style**: Must be an expert at creating designs that are a blend of comic book genius and pop culture cool. The ability to create designs that are visually appealing and unique is key. - **Number of Concepts**: I expect a minimum of 4 design concepts for each T-shirt or shirt. The more, the better. - **Key Elements**: Your designs must incorporate my brand's logo, inspirational quotes, and character illustrations. These elements are crucial to my brand's identity and should be creatively woven into the design. If you're passionate about men's fashion and can deliver high quality, trendsetting designs that st...

Looking for an Anime Recap Editor who can add funny elements, name of characters and simple editing. Here is an example: Usually around 30 minutes to 1 hour length

I'm looking for a skilled video content creator who can help me produce engaging and dynamic videos for my Instagram Reels. I need 30 reels Key Requirements: - The videos should be between 15-30 seconds. - The primary use of these videos are based on quotes. Ideal Skills & Experience: - Proficient in video editing - Familiarity with Instagram Reels and social media content - It should not be already should be new content. sample:

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Hi, I need within the sales sections (proposals, quotes, invoices), in Tasks and Customers create a data filtering interface, similar to what has already been done for Leads (see ). This interface is generated by a module I've purchased in my current Perfex CRM installation, I need a developer who can replicate it in the sales sections. I'll provide you a staging version of the CRM where you can try the customization and then replicate it into the main version. The data I need to be able to filter for these sections respectively are as follows: a. Proposal - Date (range field) Valid up to (range field) Network Qtà vetture totale (range field) Agente di vendita Status b. Estimate - Date (range field) Expiry Date (range field) Network Qtà vetture totale (r...

I'm seeking a talented graphic designer to create a captivating, cartoon-style design for my travel business' branding initiative. The final product should re...created in full color to create a visually appealing image. The ideal freelancer for this project should have: • Proven experience in creating captivating cartoon-style graphics, • A strong sense of color theory to ensure the end product is as visually appealing as possible, • An understanding of branding and how to create images that enhance brand recognition. This project is more than creating a funny image; it's about encapsulating the brand's spirit in a single graphic. If you have the required skills and can deliver a design that echoes our passion for travel, sisterhood, and adventu...

...with the ability to succinctly and convincingly convey the success of job matches on our portal. - An understanding of job portals and the needs of both employers and job seekers. Your task will involve understanding our platform, the target demographic and encapsulating our success in compelling text-based ads. Please provide examples of similar work in your proposal. Website: Quotes (not limited to): "Unlock endless possibilities. Your dream job is just a click away." "Find your passion, find your purpose. Discover it all on our job portal." "Empowering careers, one click at a time." "Connecting talent with opportunity, shaping futures." "Where opportunities meet ambition." "Your next big break is waiting. Seize it here...

Dear Developer's Name, I am excited to announce a contest to select a web developer for a project involving the duplication and adaptation of an inventory page. The original page is located at [](), and the goal is to replicate its design and functionality on [https://auto.roundt...post-implementation support. The winner will be selected based on the best combination of price, proposed timeline, and alignment with our project goals. We believe this contest is a great opportunity to showcase your skills and potentially engage in a longer-term partnership. Please send your detailed proposal by [insert deadline] to be considered. Looking forward to your creative and competitive quotes. Best regards See Videos

...and retain followers who share a passion for literature. Here's what you might do:Content Strategy: Develop a content strategy that aligns with the target audience's interests. This could include book reviews, author spotlights, book recommendations, reading challenges, quotes, and behind-the-scenes looks at the reading Creation: Create visually appealing and thematic content for Instagram posts, stories, and IGTV. This could involve taking photos of books, arranging book flat lays, creating graphics with quotes, and sharing engaging Engagement: Foster a sense of community among followers by responding to comments, initiating conversations, and participating in book-related discussions. Engage with other Bookstagram accounts by liking, commenting, and sharing

Looking for an Anime Recap Editor who can add funny elements, name of characters and simple editing. Here is an example: Usually around 30 minutes to 1 hour length

Hi Designers, I need characters for my personal project, characters should be banana which can be funny/serious/confused/genius I need 3 characters Stage 1: You can create one character first and get approval then proceed with remaining 2 characters, please check image 2 for the idea how I want my characters to look like Stage 2: Create environment similar to image 1, instead of beans I want bananas, please check image 3 on how my environment will look like Stage 3: You need to create around Max 5 Secs small animation which can be in loop similar to below website Once you done with first character rest all going to be the same not much difference. Happy Designing The quality and color I need same as image 1, if you can create similar quality in Blender 3D that

WE WANT YOUR MEMES!! Use our duck, to create dank memes. Dress him up, put him inside a car, make him dance/grind against a stripper pole.... do whatever you think is creative and funny. Or add him to existing famous meme templates where you think he would fit well. No AI images please, entrants who submit AI images will be BLOCKED. Key aspects of your role will include: - Conceptualizing and producing memes with a broad thematic range: from pop culture references to political satire and everyday life humor. The project calls for a variety of themes, so versatility in humor and cultural references is essential. - Ensuring that all memes adhere to a square format with a 1:1 aspect ratio. - The creative direction for this project leans towards irreverent and edgy humor, so an a...

I'm on the hunt for an expert copywriter with a knack for raunchy, vulgar yet humorous language. Your task will be to create hard-hitting and engaging content for a new meme coin project, "Trumps Army". - Fluent in crypto degen lingo is a must. We want authentic, engaging content that resonates...limiting your creative expression - you have the entire creative freedom. Surprise me with how well you can adopt this tone of voice. - The primary platform is Twitter, but the content should also be adaptable for other social platforms. Ideal Skills: - Previous experience in crypto copywriting - Understanding of meme coin, crypto degen lingo - Demonstrated ability to write raunchy, vulgar yet funny content. Let's shake things up in the crypto universe. Looking forw...

I'm searching for a talented Trump impersonator to infuse energy into our project for a Memecoin called Trump's Army. - Voice Characteristics: The ideal freelancer can skillfully mimic Trump's accent, offering an authentic ...skillfully mimic Trump's accent, offering an authentic sound for our content. - Application Requirements: To ensure you're the right candidate for the job, please include relevant past work in your application. This will allow us to better understand your capabilities and experience in Trump voice mimicry. - Tone: We're looking for a fun and engaging tone - something that leans into humor. We want a "funny and raunchy, vulgar version of Trump". Remember, engaging and humor-filled impersonations are key to this proj...

I'm in need of an efficient, digital solution to streamline our insurance quoting processes as our current method is manual. Key Features: - Quote Comparison: An element that allows for easy comparison of different quotes for the customer's selected coverage. Access: I am open to ideas for the program's accessibility. It could be a web-based platform, a desktop application, or even an Excel program. The primary goal is to transition from manual quoting to a more efficient, digital process. Ideal Freelancer: - Experience: A strong background in insurance software development and a proven track record in creating similar programs. - Innovative: Capable of suggesting and implementing creative solutions for an optimal quoting experience. - Detail-Oriented: Attentive ...

I need an expert writer to craft a 5-minute best man speech for an upcoming wedding. The speech should be comedic in tone while incorporating stories about my longstanding friendship with the groom. Skills & Experience Required: -Prior experience in speech writing, preferably comedic. -Ability to capture unique personal experiences in an entertaining way. Deliverable...Skills & Experience Required: -Prior experience in speech writing, preferably comedic. -Ability to capture unique personal experiences in an entertaining way. Deliverables: -A completed, write-up of the best man speech that fits within a 5 minutes speech slot. The ultimate goal of this project is to create an enjoyable, memorable moment for all wedding attendees, especially the groom through a funny an...

I need a proficient data expert capable of scraping specific data from Twitter, Reddit, and YouTube. Emphasizing on: - Tweets - Hashtag trends - SM users' specific usage of a small number of terms relating to claims of "stoc...for web scraping. Knowledge of libraries such as BeautifulSoup, Selenium or Scrapy would be a plus. - Ability to organize and clean the data into an easy-to-understand format. - Understanding of Twitter’s policies on data scraping to ensure the legality of the data collection process. The prompt completion of this project isn't my main concern as we have a project planned out, but need your quotations to complete the costing projections. Rather, we would prioritize quality and thoroughness of the work. Please ensure your proposal reflect...

I'm looking for a social media expert who can manage and create TikTok content for my fintech brand. This is a multifaceted project and requires a combination of educational, entertaining, and promotional content. - Content Creation: You'll be responsible for creating and posting a variety of content, including educational videos about finance, funny and entertaining finance-related videos, and promotional videos showcasing our products and services. - Audience Targeting: Our content needs to resonate with a wide range of audiences, including teenagers, young adults, finance professionals, influencers, retirees, and business owners. - Key Message: The key message we want to convey through our TikTok campaign is simplifying finance for everyone. This means creating enga...

I am looking for a skilled PHP/Wordpress developer who can create a custom quoting system for my site. Job description: - I have currently set up a website with several quoting calculator pages. - For each page I would like to have a submit button that saves the quote to a PDF and stores it on the server. Then the user of the website can visit other pages to create seperate quotes and as such create separate PDFs. - Then there will be a 'checkout' page that the user visits, enters some small details and clicks a submit button that combines all the PDFs into one and emails it to a chosen email address. All PDFs can then be deleted from the website. Ideal Skills and Experience: - Proficiency in Wordpress development - PHP coding skills with experience creating PDFs from ...

I am looking for a creative and engaging scriptwriter to help me create content for my YouTube channel. I focus on comedy sketches and I need scripts tailored specifically for teenagers aged 13-18. The ideal candidate should have: - Ex...YouTube channel. I focus on comedy sketches and I need scripts tailored specifically for teenagers aged 13-18. The ideal candidate should have: - Experience in writing comedy content - Understanding of the teenage audience and their preferences - Ability to write scripts that are 5-10 minutes in length - Strong grasp of YouTube trends and best practices It's important that the scripts are not only funny but also suitable for the younger audience. If you have a good sense of humor and can write compelling and entertaining scripts, I'd lo...

I NEED THIS ANALYSIS TO BE MADE IN MAXIMUM 4 HOURS. IT NEEDS TO FOLLOW THE SAME ( OR VERY SIMILAR) STYLE OF THE LINK BELOW... BEFORE TO SEND ME MESSAGE PLS READ THE ATTACHED SPREADSHEET TO SEE WHAT IS NEEDED PLEASE DONT WASTE MY TIME , I WANT SOMEONE THAT KNOWS THE JOB AND CAN GURANTEE TO DO IT IN 4 / 5 HOURS. NOT JUST TO TRY !!! I need a skilled and detail-oriented financial analyst to complete a comprehensive analysis of a listed company within a timeframe of 4 hours. This is a time-sensitive task requiring accuracy and diligence. Key Responsibilities: - Generate a report based on selected financial ratios; specifically, liquidity, profitability, and solvency ratios. - Assess and include the following liquidity

Only apply if you have experience about Cryptocurrency and memecoins. This will be started from scratch, still no members or followers. This is an ongoing position. -Create funny content and memes -Comment about other projects. For this you must understand the meme crypto world -Follow other accounts in the same niche -Moderate telegram group

Looking for a skilled video editor on freelancer platforms! Need to trim, transition, and change the green background to a specific color in a three-minute 4K video. Must maintain high resolution (no downscaling). Proficiency in Adobe Premiere or Final Cut Pro required. If you offer a reasonable price, there's potential for future projects with shorter videos, focusing on background...future projects with shorter videos, focusing on background color changes, transitions, and trimming. Prior to hiring, I'll send a one-minute video for you to demonstrate your abilities in trimming, transitioning, and background color change. If you've read thoroughly, please answer "three x three =" to confirm. The bidding price is a maximum of $10 for one-minute two videos. I won�...

...services and potentially machine learning for image recognition. Security: Implementation of advanced security protocols to protect user data and privacy. Project Deliverables: Complete source code with documentation. A working prototype for initial testing and feedback. Deployment on both Android and iOS platforms. Maintenance and possible future enhancements (to be discussed). Buget: Open to hear quotes...

Only apply if you have experience about Cryptocurrency and memecoins. This will be started from scratch, still no members or followers. This is an ongoing position. -Create funny content and memes -Comment about other projects. For this you must understand the meme crypto world -Follow other accounts in the same niche -Moderate telegram group

I'm in urgent need of a designer to develop a logo for the rear of my boat. Boat name is “Rainmaker” without the quotes. And the home port name of “ Jensen Beach, FL” no quotes, needs to be displayed in a smaller font under the name Possibly a nautical style theme. Although you have creative freedom, I'm drawn to the nautical aesthetic, so please incorporate that theme. The boat is a very light blue color and the rear of the boat where the name will go is white. A picture of the boat is attached for reference. Specific elements to use weren't specified, leaving you room to utilize your creativity. Do note that this project has a quick turnaround time, I need it done ASAP. If you have prior experience in nautical design and can work ...

As the site owner, I'm looking for a freelancer to develop my Forex website which requires specialized functionalities. These include: - Real-time Forex quotes: This is crucial for keeping the site users up-to-date with the latest market fluctuations. -Results section that can be updated regularly. - Forex signals provider: Unlike other sites, we're focusing on manual Forex signals for a personalized experience for our users. -Real time economic news around the world that relates to forex pairs like GBP and USD -web page to be luring, appealing and futuristic with a sense of luxury and materialistic gains as a means of motivation. The ideal candidate will have experience in the forex industry and knowledge of web development for financial platforms. I need this pro...

In search of a multi-talented receptionist who can handle both inbound and outbound calls, helping to direct customer queries and represent our business in a professional, polished manner. What You’ll Do: - Answering incoming calls - Transferring calls to appropriate departments or individuals - Taking messages accurately - Providing basic information to callers -Sending out emails with quotes tailored to the caller's location and corresponding prices in that area. - Maintaining a professional demeanor and clear communication skills. -With close to American accent Please include examples of past work (if any) in your application to give me a clear idea of your capability and fit for this job. Also please send me a sample voice recording using vocaroo and share me the l...

I'd like to request a quote for "We have a C# Windows application that produces price quotes. We'd like for our users to be able to send the quote to QuickBooks Online as an Invoice. If we were given the specific format of a JSON file our developers could export the price quote to a file. The project would be an application and source code that would take the exported file and import it into Quickbooks Online. The application should run standalone for testing but we will likely incorporate it into ours as a menu item.". Here are some items I want in the quote: . The data would be for an invoices for a landscape job, so the date, customer info, then line items like SKU, description, quantity, price, then maybe tax and total. I've attached a sample that wou...

We last worked together 3 yrs ago. I have a PHP script that I use to import data into my web application. However, I'm encountering issues with single quotes (') in the data fields, which are causing problems during the import process. I need a skilled PHP developer to modify this script to effectively remove any single quotes from the data fields array prior to the import. Single quotes are my immediate need, however I would like to include some other non-standard non-english characters that are used in names, like ( á, é, í, ó, ú, ü, ñ, ¿ and ¡ <-(upside down exclamation mark)

I am currently in need of a product that will allow my sales team to operate more efficiently. This tool should have two primary features: - Quotation Templates: This function will enable users to quickly draft professional, customer-specific quotes for sakes and services. - Product Catalog: This segment would contain a detailed listing of all our products for quick reference. More importantly, these two sections should be seamlessly linked together. Ideally, as the team compiles quotations, they can easily pull product information from the catalog into personalized quotation templates. Time is of the essence, so I would appreciate delivery within one month. Candidates with experience in developing sales tools, specifically with integrated features, would be best suited...

...interesting ideas regarding the description I'll write below, choose the most cool ones and, of course, the prize will be for that candidate. My app already has a preliminary version of "Loopie" (that I like quite a lot), when you start a new timed test, you'll see the animated "Loopie" walking faster as time goes by, like indicating the user it is running out of time, and for the moment it looks quite funny, but I wonder if I could go further and create something even more engaging. The idea of introducing an animated character arises from being used "Duolingo" for a while, a very popular app for learning languages full of very engaging animated characters that I like very much. Not to make this feature intrusive, I'll set it as op...

...create funny Youtube Shorts, Instagram Reels or TikTok Videos to drive traffic to our store. The Reels do not need to show or promote the products, so long as they generate traffic on social media and build a following. I envisage that if we have enough traffic to Youtube, Instagram and TikTok that people will naturally find their way to our Amazon page via the link in bio. Furthermore, a page that pushes cute and funny content, rather than overtly trying to sell products will gain more followers. The brand currently has an Instagram page and Youtube channel but neither of them are used. If successful, you will be responsible for creating and posting the content to these social media channels and reporting on key metrics. I’m looking for someone to create and p...

...talented illustrator who's proficient in producing cartoony-style drawings. This project entails creating a unique, funny, adult coloring book approximately 40 - 50 pages long, aimed at motivating our audience. The dimensions for a similar book on Amazon are 21.59 x 0.43 x 27.94 cm. Key responsibilities: - You'll be working on designing the pages of a coloring book, meant to be humorous while promoting a sense of motivation. - Provide your own creative interpretation towards the motivational themes of the book, also I will have some specific ideas for several pages that can be discussed. - Thematic elements I wish to incorporate within the book will include animals and motivational quotes. Skills required: - Mastery in cartoony-style illustration - Excellent u...

I'm interested in developing a specific AI virtual assistant to help my staff with various automated tasks. I would like to know if you have the capacity to implement the following functions and what the cost would be for each individually, as well as the total cost for the entire set: 1. Gmail: - Inbox organization by folders. - ... Bookings: - Booking system for appointments and meetings for the business. I would like to get a detailed cost estimate and the time required to implement each function. I'm looking to optimize internal processes and enhance my team's efficiency, so your expertise in such projects could be greatly beneficial. Thank you in advance for your time and I look forward to your response with the quotations and any additional suggestions you ...

I'm initiating an Instagram channel focused on financial content. To make my vision into a reality, I need an expert who can help me: - Design a smart content strategy plan - Regularly create & edit Instagram Reels - Provide engaging image posts Here's what I expect: - Creation of under 1-minute Instagram Reels -- three every week - One engaging ...finance related topics, I welcome creative inputs to make it more engaging and appealing. You're a great fit if you: - Have a knack for editing short-length videos - Strategic thinking for content - Enthusiasm for finance topics - Ability to work flexibly, keeping in mind Instagram's Algorithms Please note, we didn't specify the average time for the editing of each Reel. Hence, base your quotes cons...

I am seeking a talented speech writer who can craft a hilarious, slapstick-style comedy speech to bring laughter and merriment to a wedding celebration. this is the grooms speech and should thank everyone and still have all the sentimental stuff. Key Requirements: - The tone should be funny and light-hearted without crossing into vulgarity or inappropriate humor. - Experience in comedic writing, particularly slapstick humor is essential. Knowledge of creating memorable wordplays and ridiculous situations would be advantageous. - The speech should serve as pure entertainment, therefore must be devoid of any educational or persuasive intents. - Experience in writing for radio or other spoken formats would be a plus, as speech will be delivered orally. Ideal Skills: - Comedy Writ...

I will need scrapbook/collage style designs that will be mostly used on phone cases, the designs need to be able to look good on various different sizes phone cases - Iphone 8-15 - Samsung S10-S23 , aka take in mind where the cameras are and no vital elements of the design aka text quotes etc falls in there. I might need many different theme designs but similar in style. For this job i will need summer vibes design with popular summer inspiration words/quotes and images evoking summer feelings.