need a coder for 5 hours RIGHT NOW (Wednesday) 1pm EST. NO OTHER TIME!(repost)

Hi, I am looking for a decent (even if no experience, just convince me that you are smart enough) PHP/AJAX coder to work with me on a project for about 5 hours starting from 1pm EST Wednesday. THAT'S RIGHT NOW! Voice chat a MUST, if you don't have it, get lost. If you charge hourly, which I don't like, it should be no more than $10 per hour, and I prefer less. No expensive rock stars please. I am going to tell you very specifically what to write and how. I will say, you take this function and you change this way. You write these 2 new functions to do so and so. You MUST obey my directions. If you are just too brilliant to do what another programmer tells you to do, DON'T APPLY. I am going to be online in Skype (voice chat) and I will answer any and all questions. You MUST ask questions immediately if you have them, not try solve them on your own. If you are too timid/proud/culturally incapable of asking questions when you don't understand something, DON'T APPLY. I am looking for someone who: - knows how to code - knows how to listen (in English or in Russian) - knows how to ask questions. I know the codebase better than you - so you don't waste my time doing your own research, you ask ME - knows how to shut up and do what he is told. Not what you feel like doing, not the way all the right thinking people do things, but specifically WHAT I WANT DONE - does not charge too much If you do good job, you are hired forever with me. I have more of these PHP projects than I can handle. I am now in the chat room of the bid. Come and talk to me NOW! Thanks, Michael ## Deliverables 1) Complete and fully-functional working program(s) in executable form as well as complete source code of all work done. 2) Deliverables must be in ready-to-run condition, as follows (depending on the nature of the deliverables): a) For web sites or other server-side deliverables intended to only ever exist in one place in the Buyer's environment--Deliverables must be installed by the Seller in ready-to-run condition in the Buyer's environment. b) For all others including desktop software or software the buyer intends to distribute: A software installation package that will install the software in ready-to-run condition on the platform(s) specified in this bid request. 3) All deliverables will be considered "work made for hire" under U.S. Copyright law. Buyer will receive exclusive and complete copyrights to all work purchased. (No GPL, GNU, 3rd party components, etc. unless all copyright ramifications are explained AND AGREED TO by the buyer on the site per the coder's Seller Legal Agreement). ## Platform php ajax