How to write jokes for stand up jobs

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    129,637 how to write jokes for stand up jobs found, pricing in USD

    You need to have smart phone to test ! If you dont have smart phone and using PC only please do not respond. Open this link from pc and mobile phone separetaly ; [login to view URL] Web: Click any item then click add to cart : The pop up will open and ask you to select pick-up or delivery! before adding to cart. Issue: Open that link from mobile phone: click add * it will add with out pick-up or...

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    Hi I need to write a good go-fund-me write up to raise money for medical school. regards, Khalid

    $15 / hr (Avg Bid)
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    9 bids

    I make a project for logo and make an jokes application with admob ads.

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    I need a 2400 long table with 8 chairs picked up from city And dropped off In Bayswater please. If you are interested I would love to chat with you. I look forward to hearing from you Michelle

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    I'm creating new packaging for a face mask strap extender. I'm looking to design a four step instructional graphic on how to use it. Nothing too fancy, just a basic one to three color design that shows, 1. adjusting a velcro strap, 2. attaching the elastic straps to a clip, 3. snapping a side release buckle together, and 4. a happy customer smiling. Lol...

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    Im looking for someone who is experienced in designing tech packs for factory production. Needing approximately 15-20 packs produce please supply quote and samples of past work. Thank you

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    i have a doctors telemedicine website. NEEDS AMELIA PLUGIN AND WORDPRESS EXPERT WHO KNOWS HOW TO BOOK DOCTORS MEETING WITH ZOOM INTEGRATION. Task is this- need to setup amelia 4 services and their zoom links so they can book appointment join the meeting. setup sms or whats app notification for new booking. setup 1 day before and 5 minutes before and after meeting 2 sms and email to customer. confi...

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    We are a Video Agency and I’m looking for kick-ass individuals who can create custom animated explainer videos for us. We mainly work with clients and companies in specific niches. To apply please: 1. Programs you use. 2. Provide examples of your work. 3. What is your process for a project like this? 4. How quick is your turn-around time? (generally) 5. Let me know your pricing for a ...

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    You need to have smart phone to test ! If you dont have smart phone and using PC only please do not respond. Open this link from pc and mobile phone separetaly ; [login to view URL] Web: Click any item then click add to cart : The pop up will open and ask you to select pick-up or delivery! before adding to cart. Issue: Open that link from mobile phone: click add * it will add with out pick-up or...

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    You have to analyse the competition and structure future content SEO relevant and text / and or translate for it. LONG TERM gig. Basically any language with more than 5 Mio. speakers is relevant!!! For communication you should be proficient in English. It is also the most important language. We start with a test of a 4000-5000 word cluster (10 pages for our homepage) and work our way up from her. ...

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    I am into the business of writing on places of tourist interest in and around West Bengal. The same can be off beat places/ famous places in an around West Bengal where tourists can enjoy a day or two or weekend gateways. Hence for this work of mine i require write ups to be done in a professional manner.

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    Need help fixing my Epoxy Flooring Website [login to view URL] blank page/ post page is [login to view URL] Ive tried restoring backup no luck

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    i want someone to set up an email marketing campain and an automation for abandon cart ,

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    I need a talented CPA to help me with my back taxes and setting up multiple businesses and associated accounting methods. I am busy all the time and need someone to manage my accounting to make sure my books and licences etc. are all what they should be. I'm looking for someone who can take the time to answer a lot of questions I have and I am willing to pay for the time. If you can do legal ...

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    Our upcoming consulting start up (it-sector) needs a visual outlook. So basically we need a company logo, powerpoint template designs, pdf template design, and a business card design.

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    Our website is in nuxt.js. [ Single page application ]. 1. [login to view URL] 2. [login to view URL] 3. [login to view URL] 4. [login to view URL] 5. [login to view URL] We need to step up analytics tracking via GTM. Like given in this link we need to modify the GTM, [login to view URL] Then we need to set up Goal tracking, Google adwords linker , scroll depth.

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    i have some video link.. but after i download these videos, i cannot play because these are DRM proteced.. if you can help me regarding this ..please contact

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    angular expert required -- 2 6 days left
    VERIFIED

    angular expert required 1. Please view the READ ME PDF file which contains the scope of the project. 2. Use the TEST APP to see how Nomnoml works. 3. Please REVIEW the SOURCE CODE for Nomnoml and make the necessary changes. 4 REBUILD the source code files into a complete program to complete this project.. Browsers act differently. We strongly suggest you use SAFARI on a Mac for best comparabi...

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    i have small angular project 6 days left
    VERIFIED

    i have small angular project need help on this to complete 1. Please view the READ ME PDF file which contains the scope of the project. 2. Use the TEST APP to see how Nomnoml works. 3. Please REVIEW the SOURCE CODE for Nomnoml and make the necessary changes. 4 REBUILD the source code files into a complete program to complete this project.. Browsers act differently. We strongly suggest you use...

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    I am looking to have a 3 d animated "walk through" video of our virtual exhibition stand. The idea is that as you walk through you can click onto a product board and jump to our web site. Please see the attached information.

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    Shopify theme + set up 6 days left
    VERIFIED

    Looking for someone who can create a Shopify theme for supplements/CBD/skin care products. The theme: - that will be easy to navigate for both customers and the owner - that will sell itself - that won't even need much of marketing Home page has to be very welcoming. So, writing skills are very much appreciated. Let me know what you think and once awarded the project I will send the creden...

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    facebook Messanger Set up 6 days left
    VERIFIED

    Looking for someone who can build out our facebook responses when someone engages on a post

    $11 / hr (Avg Bid)
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    Looking for a company logo, website and business cards. Ones that stand out, maybe a little retro but still clear to make out. I like the circle type shape but preferably double lined with the WATTLE GROVE and no think coloured borders

    $202 (Avg Bid)
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    Build our company logo 6 days left
    VERIFIED

    Using our preliminary logo sketch, please help make our logo stand out, and be formatted for website, social media, business cards, etc.

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    I have a wordpress site ive been working on for a while, and it is quite slow, do you think you would be able to help me speed it up? The site in question is https://saffron.vc. I have tried all the basic troubleshooting things, i believe it may be a frontend/js/css error or blocking or something like that causing the issue See in the header "Launching a business shouldn't be rocket ...

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    Trophy icon Design a logo for a dating app 13 days left

    Hi, I'm Elijah, and I' m starting a business called Firefly Dating! We are a company that is committed to re-imagining the stale dating app market for Gen Z, by bringing a new and trendy design to an app that encourages true romance, not just a good time. We chose the Firefly as our name because it's a symbol of light conquering darkness. Fireflies also use that light to attract mat...

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    Moosh Talkshow 6 days left
    VERIFIED

    A 3D character for stand-up comedy needs to be rigged and animated in three situations, each 15 seconds long. Situation #1: In a sitting position (late night talk show style) talking to camera. Situation #2: In a standing position on stage (talking to camera). Situation #3: In a standing position (not talking but reacting with various expressions to a playing TV monitor) . Lip-syncing not requir...

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    cisco phone: 8841 Free PBX: [login to view URL] Static IP of LAN Our office

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    Looking for an EXPERIENCED DEVELOPER to speed up all pages of website [login to view URL] to meet google search console criteria. Current mobile AND desktop ranks for site are "poor" on google. Goal is to get these to "good" I use ELEMENTOR page builder with JUPTER X theme in Wordpress. Please note all your work must be compatible as these programs update. Developer must be p...

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    Trophy icon Draw Me A Karen! 6 days left

    Looking for most creative and modern design. I attached a screen shot. The cat t-shirt in the example I don't like, too old looking. The guy yelling with the red shirt I like that design on his shirt. Use that as your base. But add some pop to it like the dog has in the pink ones. Also the Trump one is a very modern looking style: Use a 1:1 aspect ratio transparent png at 5000x5000. PLease ...

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    I had brought a chat app script which is in Java + Android studio + Firebase. It is using php api but that part I can handle. Just help me to customize the script like changing name, adding my own logo etc. and get a build from it and help me to upload in playstore. Genuine freelancers please bid for this project. I will choose only someone who is having more ratings and reviews. Chosen programmer...

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    Goal: Need an animated explainer video introducing our company, products and mission with an emphasis on zero waste and natural ingredients. Video length: around 1 minute Website: [login to view URL] Draft Script: “We produce 300 million tons of plastic each year worldwide, half of which is for single-use items. That’s nearly equivalent to the weight of the entire human population.&...

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    Trophy icon GymSavage Mock up 4 days left

    *REMOVE ALL LOGOS FROM SUPPLIED SHIRTS. *VECTORIZE THE" [login to view URL] " LOGO. 1. On all SLEEVELESS shirts Use the logo "GYM SAVAGE 2.AI. LOGO SHOULD BE PLACED ON RIGHT CHEST AND ON THE BACK CENTER. 2. ON BOTH WHITE T SHIRT AND BLACK T SHIRT ALONG WITH THE LONGLINE BLACK SHIRT ADD THE VECTORIZED "[login to view URL] CENTER CHEST.

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    I have a C++ project (400 lines+) which has a thread where a pre-trained model is applied to input audio to cancel the acoustic echo. The program now run 100 ms per frame (24ms audio chunk) on average on my pc. I need someone to speed it up to 20 ms per frame on my machine, so that it can run in real time. Inside the thread, the program first calculates features from input audio which includes S...

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    I need to hire an expert on cyber security to help me to check my app

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    I have a C++ project (400 lines+) which has a thread where a pre-trained model is applied to input audio to cancel the acoustic echo. The program now run 100 ms per frame (24ms audio chunk) on average on my pc. I need someone to speed it up to 20 ms per frame on my machine, so that it can run in real time. Inside the thread, the program first calculates features from input audio which includes S...

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    The work is for children who are deaf or hard of hearing who are learning to listen and speak through the use of technology and their families.

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    I am looking for a rewriter to work perfectly, ANSWER '' WHAT IS REWRITING?'' IN UR BID

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    Install tranSMART on my localhost ubuntu 16.04. Make any necessary changes before installation. Use ETL commands to load data into it. Teach me how you did it.

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    Hi We are looking for an animation of a sexy stripper character - can be 3d render Wearing a flip up face shield ( we can supply an existing accurate render of this that can be put on the model if that helps)

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    I am working on a platform that runs a Django/Postgres backend with a React frontend. The platform scrapes data from multiple sources with Scrapy, cross-relates them, and gives some basic analysis of them via the front-end and HighCharts. I am running into some issues with scaling the platform and some strange issues getting the entire system to work together. For example, running Scrapy & Tw...

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    Looking for a fashion designer for a party clothing line

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    I am using [login to view URL] as my private email. For my business, I want to buy a domain, which will look like director@mybusiness.c. Once this is done, I want to use that domain on my hotmail account. like I am using now. So essentially, only the domain will change.

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    i selling loafer shoes online. i just dont know how to do the split test and get a good result. and please advice me to improve the ads at the same time

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    I'm looking for a logo that combines the heart and mind - "Modern Asian Mother" is the Brand. Great of you can incorporate a feminine side. Looking for something bold, classy & simple. It stand for many mums. ONLY reply if you can do it for budget of SGD$10 [login to view URL] YouTube : Modern Asian Mother

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    Speed up my wordpress website 5 days left
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    Hello, I have a website and I want to spped up my wordpress website.

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    I need someone to set up regularly scheduled product imports (every 15 minutes) from a CSV file on our server that is constantly updated. The CSV file on our server is constantly being updated by our in-store database, so this will make our website's woocommerce store reflect the products and inventory of what we actually have available in our physical store. I assume that this will require ...

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    Hi Guys I have a background in Health and Wellness ( nurse and midwife) and now work as a trained Energy therapist, Clairvoyant motivational Coach. I am looking to have my logo tweaked or changed slightly to make it stand out more. I already have colours in mind which I have previously used on my business cards which are teal and deep purple (very spiritual colours) but don't mind considering...

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