I am nearly ready to launch my personal blog of writing, recipes, confrontational opinions and the like. Its available to view here: [url removed, login to view] - its just hidden from search engines for now.
While I would love to be able to say I designed the whole thing myself, I'd rather concentrate on the writing! I bought a theme and have deployed it more or less as-is. If you visit the link above you'll see the black cloth bit which is the background for the header and navigation. I want to replace this with a mural style image in a cartoon style which depicts characters from pop culture and world politics who are revered by the masses. The whole image should be satirical and can be as demonising as you like! It should probably be SFW (safe for work) though because I include this link in my CV or emails when I pitch articles to magazines.
Some things I'd quite like to see featured are:
- at least one outspoken and bigoted famous person who has cried out that equality for gay people will ruin lives
- the Anonymous/Guy Fawkes guy, perhaps being crucified or otherwise villified
- David Cameron, preferably a caricature which exaggerates how pompous, priveleged and out-of-touch he is
- something fittingly humiliating happening to Nick Frost such as him cross-dressing or being caught with a male escort
- slack-jawed yokels who stare at either a TV or a handheld device
- anything else you can think of - have a read through the blog posts at the link above
To give it some context, I live in the UK and write with a venomous tongue about corruption, absent-minded, slavish trend following as well as other kinds of perceived misanthropy. I really like impression shows like Very Important People which featured irreverently acted caricatures of celebrities like Amy Childs, Russel Brand, Cheryl Cole etc!
I'm a big fan of Danté's Inferno, wherein he featured lots of corrupt officials, clergymen and legends of his time in his version of Hell, and had them punished accordingly for whatever dastardly deed or habit that made them infamous. He used contrapasso (poetic justice) -- they were punished in a way fitting to their crime. It was all very vicious but at the same time hilarious. And to go with this, I'm a big fan of Rodin's bas-relief works which depicted some scenes from the Inferno. (FYI I'm not devout or practicing Christian, just a fan of Danté!)
One thing to be aware of is I'd like the bulk of the image's subject matter to fit within the 990px layout of the site once optimised for the wbe - it wouldn't matter if stuff extended beyond there, it's just that some people on old or compact screens wouldn't see it. Ignore the navigation labels currently on the site, I'll find some way to make them work with the produce of this commission.
That said: I’d like the final product to be, for the most part, greyscale or with minimal, “washy ink” or watercolour
Unfortunately I haven't got a massive budget for this - I've also never commissioned an illustration before so I've opted for the "Simple Budget" option..You will be very visibly credited in more than one place on the site as well as talked up.
You'd be pleased to hear I have no real deadline and I'm the only "stakeholder". I work in an agency as well as do some freelance writing so I'm aware of the persistent pressure on freelancers to chase for their monies etc - you won't get that from me. I also won't show it to my mother or dog and then come back to you demanding revision after revision. I don't actually think I can afford revisions...
If you like the sound of this job please reach out and let's talk about it!