PHP natural language processing algorithm

Looking for a PHP professional experienced in language processors, regular expressions and natural language processing with AI to develop a set of algorithms under PHP that will do the following: 1. The program will accept keyword or sentence 2. The program will search for related articles/websites of that keyword/phrase on major search engines. (Google/Yahoo/Bing/Wikipedia) 3. The program will go through the top results and extract relevant paragraphs. 4. The program will break the paragraphs from multiple websites into sentences. 5. The sentences will be shuffled and reconstructed into paragraphs then a new article. 6. AI should be implemented so that the final article constructed by the program makes sense and contains minimal grammatical error. Perhaps by tagging each sentence with infomation such as whether it belongs to intro/body/conclusion and its relevancy. 7. The article constructed should be randomized and different each time. 8. The results should be cached so that if the same keyword is entered, the program will not waste time looping through each website, instead it will constructed an article from the sentences thats already in the database. 9. The program should also take some parameters such as number of words/paragraphs the constructed article should have. The first few steps are fairly easy and has been attempted in the past with a success, but linking sentences together to form a article that makes sense with minimal reduncy and error is quite challenging. Please do not attempt unless you are talented programmer with experience in related field. Perl or other languages that can be called by PHP on a linux box is also accepted.