I had to write a dissertation for my final project but I scored below average. Attached is the draft which I had written. I need to make it look more professional and score well in my last attempt. Please find my instructor's comments as below:
Here is the feedback on your project report.
This is an Automatic REFER due to key, required elements being missing &acirc;€“ namely:
1) The approved Terms of Reference are not in the Appendices
2) Professional Issues have not been covered
3) Evaluation is missing
Other questions I&acirc;€™m also asking are:
5) If you are claiming to be following SSM, then how were the different World Views derived? From interviews? Observation? It appears at present as if you have &acirc;€˜guessed&acirc;€™ what these views were. That is not good methodological practice and goes completely against the grain of SSM and other methods. Why pretend to be considering alternative viewpoints of stakeholder groups and not consult them? IF you have consulted them, then that must be stated more clearly in the Dissertation.
6) You mention the stakeholders involved on p.9, yet I see nothing of their direct involvement &acirc;€“ most of all in terms of evaluation of what you have done as your primary research. In fact there is no evaluation of your model; their views of your model; the project overall; your methods or self.