Hi, I have been asked to be the auctioneer at a charity evening. I don't need to make a speech but I would like a couple of humourous icebreakers as well as some ideas for a 'quip' or two regarding some of the items being auctioned. The auction is on Saturday 9th June so I only have a couple of days to get sorted if there is anyone out there who can help.
Items being auctioned include...a cruise to the Lebanon, some 'Art' - I believe a painting and a statue and also an evening with this years charity president (obviously that'd be a good opportunity for some ragging).
The humour has got to be appropriate but could be a bit naughty too.
I have done some searching on the internet but have mainly found wedding speeches or 'tips' sites trying to sell a course on public speaking.
I could do with a selection for other occasions anyway and believe there is a way of rewarding 2 or 3 freelancers for their help and will gladly pay for good contributions/efforts.
Thanks
As a member of the clergy I've been speaking publicly 3 times each week for 25 years so I have the experience. Off the top of my head here are two examples of what I would deliver from your project details. We have a cruise to Lebanon! It is my understanding that the Israeli Defense Force has already made a secret bid on this. Our next item is an evening with this years charity president. We are expecting the highest bid tonight on this item because the winner of this bid is the only one in the room that doesn't have to go. If you can give me a list of items being auctioned I can give you a one liner on as many as possible and you can chose which ones to use. Thanks for the opportunity.
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Hi DuncanWills,
This project is really a good one to start for me where i can make everyone feel good at your humor during the auction. All i need is some more information about the auction and your self.
Thankyou.
I am a former auctioneer with experience in doing charity auctions, and have performed over 100 auctions. I can complete your project on time and help you achieve the right balance of humor and professionalism.