URGENT: Teach me extreme Excel formulas, VBA! (You need to be extremely skilled in Excel!!!) via skype/teamviewer

Can you write stuff like this without a problem? example: =SUMPRODUCT(($A$1:$A$33=$F2)*($B$1:$B$33=$G2)*(ROW($A$1:$A$33)-(ROW($A$1)-1))) or =IFERROR(INDEX($U$5:$AC$9,MATCH($A7,$T$5:$T$9,0),MATCH(B$5,INDEX($U$5:$U$9,MATCH($A7,$T$5:$T$9,0)):INDEX($AC$5:$AC$9,MATCH($A7,$T$5:$T$9,0)),0)+2),"") and using ADDRESS/INDEX, INDIRECT? If you are a extremely competent with excel formulas not just VBA, I need you! Job Description - my budget is about £4/h = $6.5 - You need to be able from about 3pm-10pm as that's usually when im free around. (UK, GMT TIME!!!) - I need to quickly learn advanced Excel formulas and VBA to develop my Data Analyst skills. If you everything in VBA - sorry not for me. - Need to learn very advanced formulas and functions, complex IF formulae along with MATCH/INDEX, COUNTIFs, SUMPRODUCT, macro development for quick data cleansing. - NESTED FORMULAS - You need to have a decent understanding/speaking of English. - Have an idea of how you will teach, I prefer learning by actually doing things - dummy exercise. Mention jigsaw in your reply so I know you read this. - You need to have a decent and reliable internet connection to be able to skype and use a remote assistance program. - Looking to pay a student price per hour; will have too ignore too high bids. - About 3-4 weeks; and about 8-10 hours/week. Skills Required - Advanced Excel (I mean really, an Excel expert - ill test) you. - VBA programmer too. - Advantageous if you have experience of stats, business/financial models and SSRS experience Skills Required