Setup Android/Eclipse on a VPS...

Hi.. I want someone to setup an android environment for me, on a VPS... The VPS is running Windows server 2003... its super fast (30 Mbps) so you can download anything so quickly. -- I want you to install/configure Eclipse. -- Need to be able to use emulator to test the app (show me how to start it and use it to test an apk). -- Create a *.keystore AND tell me how can I recreate one in the future? -- Tell me how using Eclipse I can compile the sources & get the "SIGNED" APK? use ANY example sources. Shouldn't take too much! Thanks, Mary