Website Infomercial Text (gay adult XXX)

I need a marketing pitch for a personal lubricant targeted at gay men who like to have wild uninhibited sex solo, duo or in groups, anything goes. See here for a similar product: [login to view URL] The website will be simple but professionally designed page with the product, describing its benefits (I will provide this info) and then an order page. I want an infomercial text that is in active voice, short, sharp, to the point, and uninhibited. In other words a really hard sales pitch with bulletpoints to hard men who like hard sex. You must be an absolutely fluent English speaker, and comfortable working with gay adult material.